It all started this past March when I went to Kohl’s to find some clothes for my about-to-be adopted baby. I quickly realized I was in for a hard time when I saw they were only selling summer clothes. Who buys a season ahead for a baby? I then discovered there were two design schemes for the infant wardrobe: pink with butterflies and flowers, and blue with trucks and sports equipment. What’s a socially-conscious, non gender-stereotyping mom to do? I managed to find one yellow outfit with a giraffe theme, and bought a pink flowery number which I balanced with a blue outfit with ‘Daddy’s Little Sport’ emblazoned on the front.
On the way to the register I took a detour through the girls’ department where I saw bras in size 4-6X (yes, that’s bras for the preschool set). My dilemma with gender stereotyped infant clothes now seemed laughably naive; my battle with kids’ clothing was about to get a whole lot worse.
Dave at Attachment Parenting Blog and Stacie at The Twinkies each have excellent posts with thoughtful comments about inappropriate and gender-stereotyped clothing. The examples given boggle the mind and turn the stomach. Shorts for toddlers with ‘jailbait’ written across the butt?! On a diaper exchange site someone posted a diaper for sale with ‘I’m too sexy for my diaper’ written on it! I know the designer meant to be funny, but in a culture where kids are sexualized to the nth degree, I’m not laughing.
How about if we force the manufacturers to stop? Maybe if enough of us refused - loudly and publicly - to buy from stores or designers that stereotype and sexualize our children, they’ll change their ways. What I’m aiming to do is generate a list of stores that sell these things, and designers who make them. Then spread the lists far and wide among concerned parents, grandparents, teachers, and anyone else who cares about children, encouraging a boycott with a letter writing campaign.
So I need your help. What stores have you been in that sell ‘hottie’ t-shirts for eight year olds or thongs for the newly toilet trained? Which designers make shorts for pre-teens with ’sexy’ written across the butt? Leave a comment to tell me what outrageous item you’ve seen, along with who sells or makes it, and I’ll put together a do-not-buy list. And if you know of any companies that are committed to making non-stereotyped, age-appropriate clothing, tell me about them, too. I like to give credit where it is due.
I like Old Navy. They seem to have a balance of girly and sporty clothes for girls, and generally don’t try to s*xualize young children. The Children’s Place and Gymboree are OK, too, although expensive. I was recently appalled when I tried to shop in The Limited Too, although I can’t remember a specific example. You might be interested in Mom’s for Modesty started by Everyday Mommy. Heres the link: http://www.everydaymommy.net/?p=527#comment-28609
Great post.
I think a new clothing boycott is a brilliant idea altogether. I don’t trust the conditions under which clothing is manufactured and I don’t believe that new clothing’s price tags are worth it.
My solution is: second hand clothes. They are being re-used, which is great for the environment (so much old clothing finds its way to the landfill, gah!) and usually by buying used clothes, you are giving money to an organization that uses the money for good charities. Also, by buying clothing at a thrift store, you can save your dollars for your own important causes, food, or whatever.
Lastly, by buying clothing second hand, you do not have to ever feel like you’re giving money to the fashion industry. You can get a lot of very nice things that are gently used, and your family will certainly not lack good clothes, either.
It’s a lot easier to reject the new clothes industry altogether than to make an exhaustive list of which companies to boycott — though I also think it’s a great idea to start some letter writing.
Great post - thanks!
Thank you for your long and thoughtful comment. I, too, distrust the conditions in which many clothes are made. The Better World Shopping Guide recommends a few companies for clothes, when second hand isn’t an option: according to them Patagonia and American Apparel have excellent human rights records and compensate their employees fairly. Maybe I’ll check their web sites and see what they make for children.
But back to used clothing: I have much more success finding second hand clothes for myself than my daughter. Most of my daughter’s clothes are hand-me-downs or bought from Goodwill, but I can’t find everything I need for her there and rely on retail for some items. That’s how I ended up in Kohl’s. (The Better World Shopping Guide gave them a D-, so I won’t be heading back there anymore.)
But I am wondering if it is easier to find age-appropriate clothes at second hand stores? Some of the styles and t-shirt slogans I see in the Goodwill are shocking. I love not supporting the fashion industry, especially those that rely on child and poorly-compensated adult labor. But I still don’t want her wearing sexy clothes until she’s old enough to understand and be comfortable with her sexuality. I’m not sure when that will be, but I want it to be on her chosen timetable, not because of pressure from the media, fashion industry, or peers, or from the lack of availability of suitable clothing.
I completely agree with you… sometimes it *is* hard to find the clothes you’d like, whether you are in a second hand store or at Kohl’s or any other retail store.
I am lucky to live in a large city with a large selection of second hand stores, thrift or consignment stores, and so forth. The clothes found therein are obviously a reflection of what is made, including the aggregious ones. I never have trouble finding things for my kids, though.
Actually it was easier when they were younger. Baby clothes are not as worn out as older kids clothes, because babies grow so quickly.
One other thought is getting hand me downs; if there’s a mother’s group near you, sometimes these groups can organize a clothing swap (often as a fundraiser, say $1 per item, and the profit goes to the group’s activities and campaigns). I have gotten GREAT stuff this way.
I like The Children’s Place. I shop when their stuff is “take 30% off marked down”–which happens each season. I buy ahead for the next year.
I like that they have things in pink and purple but also the same styles in green and blue and yellow. I like that their skirts have shorts attached underneath, and are often made of stretchy material so my girl can climb and roughhouse as much as her twin brother. I like that even though they have shirts that say “Princess” and “Cutie,” they also have plenty of shirts that DON’T. I’m still in the toddler department so I don’t know about their bigger girl stuff, but so far I haven’t seen anything that offends me–just stuff I might not choose.
Great message I agree with! I wish I could remember where I’ve seen the messages on shirts and underwear because they were appalling. It is frustrating.
Like others, I go to the thrift store and save myself a ton fo money to boot!